


In The Midst Of It, So Alive and Alone

by lcdrsuperseal



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, I honestly don't know why I keep doing this to my baby, Implied/Referenced Gang Rape, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Protective Danny, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Recovery, Steve Whump, but only just
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2018-10-25 01:29:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10753914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lcdrsuperseal/pseuds/lcdrsuperseal
Summary: “I’m sorry, babe,” Danny choked out as he untied the ropes around Steve’s wrists and gently rubbed them after bringing them back in front of him. “I’m so sorry.”“Danny…” Steve latched onto Danny’s hand. “Please don’t let go.”Getting busted wasn't the worst thing to happen to Steve when he and Danny were undercover - not by a long shot. Fortunately, Danny's there to drive him down the road to recovery.Newly est. McDanno. Please read the warnings.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yet again another dose of heartache for my precious baby. So many people wanted a sequel for 'If I Drown Tonight, Bring Me Back To Life'. While I agreed and was all up for it, I wanted to do it all over again. And this one I will definitely be continuing.
> 
> Unbeta'd, all mistakes (and tears) are on me.

Danny gave up pacing the floor of his tiny cell and slumped to the floor with his back to the metal bars. He didn’t know how long he’d been there, but judging by how many times the sun had moved across the window on the opposite brick wall he guessed it was maybe a week.

With a sigh his thoughts wandered, and not for the first time that day it should be noted, to Steve. He hadn’t seen his partner since their undercover op went horribly wrong just a few days into it and the drug smuggling gang they were trying to bust saw through their act. He didn’t know how the fight started, but the next thing he knew he woke up behind those metal bars. And he was alone.

Danny didn’t know where Steve was. All he knew was that he wished that they were together, then maybe he wouldn’t be feeling quite so claustrophobic.

A week before they started their undercover op, a few too many beers had led to both men admitting their feelings, and then before Danny knew what was happening he was squeezing Steve’s ass as the man crawled into his lap. They’d kissed - oh Danny enjoyed that - several times, and there had been a couple of amazing hand jobs.

Unfortunately they were so busy at work getting things ready for the undercover op that they had to make do with stealing kisses in their offices while the rest of their team was preoccupied. Steve didn’t like it; every time they had to go home all he wanted to do was bring Danny back with him. But they needed all the sleep they could get, and both men knew that if they shared Steve’s bed the last thing they’d do in it would be sleep.

Both Danny and Steve agreed to keep their newly developed relationship to themselves, at least until they were ready to go public. They hadn’t even told Grace.

A small smirk spread over Danny’s lips as he thought that if Steve was here, he’d be tearing him a new one about how _of course_ it was Steve’s fault they got busted, he was a cop and had gone undercover in a drugs gang back in New Jersey and _hello?_ Didn’t get busted. Then Danny would have to listen to Steve argue that they had nothing on some of his SEAL ops, before both men would agree that they were both at fault (but Danny knew deep down who was really to blame).

And if Steve was there with him, maybe he would have prevented him from lashing out at one of Santino’s goons that had come to interrogate him. As soon as he opened the cell door Danny launched at him, but was quickly subdued.

He refused to give up Five-0 or any information about their case, though. No matter how much they interrogated him.

* * *

 

Some time later Santino and the same guy from before barged through the door to his room, dragging a resisting Steve with them. His hands were bound behind his back and a sack was tied around his head. He was missing his shirt, his trousers were dirty and had small holes in them.

"If you won’t talk... we'll have a little fun with your friend, here." Santino said, dragging the fingernails of a dirty hand across Steve’s bare chest and then down to his abdomen. Danny’s stomach plummeted.

He prayed that his instinct was wrong. But then the hand carried on going further south, until his hand had reached Steve’s crotch and squeezed tightly, causing Steve to moan in pain.

"It looked like he enjoyed it last time, if that mess he left was anything to go by."

Danny felt a tear slip down his stubbled cheek and he couldn't tear his eyes off of Steve’s bloody and dirty body. Danny hadn't seen him at all in that week, but unknowingly he had heard him the other night. He thought the sound he heard was that of someone screaming, but didn't realise it was his partner.

Suddenly Steve was forced onto his knees by both men, and Danny winced at the muffle groan his partner gave out.

“Oh, and if you move or make a sound, we won’t hesitate to shoot both of you.” Santino said, motioning to the gunmen behind him that were pointing their weapons at Danny and Steve.

Danny was helpless behind the bars of his cage to stop the man as he shoved Steve forward onto the concrete and pulled down his dirty cargo pants, ignoring the struggling man’s protests beneath him. The breath caught in Danny’s throat as his worst fear was confirmed at the small trail of dried blood he could see that coated the inside of one of Steve’s thighs before it was obscured as the Santino kneeled in between his legs after forcing them as open as his bunched up pants would allow.

Danny made to shout and grabbed at the steel bars in front of him but saw the henchman closest to him took a step towards him and barked an order to stay still, his gun pointed directly at Danny’s chest.

“Remember, one word…” He said gruffly.

Begrudgingly he closed his mouth, but still clung to the bars, his knuckles white at what was now happening in front of him.

Santino spat on his hand before covering his cock in the makeshift lubricant and lining himself up. Steve was defiant until the end, and was wriggling and struggling against his captor’s grip until the man suddenly rammed his cock all the way into Steve’s hole.

Danny couldn’t stop the tears escaping from behind his clamped eyelids at Steve’s anguished cry, only slightly muffled by what Danny guessed what a gag in his mouth. His forehead knocked against the bars as he prayed for a miracle, something, _anything_ that would save Steve from this torture.

All Danny could hear was Steve’s moans and whimpers, the sounds echoing in his head. Until a voice cut through.

“Damn, your ass isn’t as tight as it was yesterday! My boys must have stretched you good.”

Danny had to bite his lip hard enough to draw blood to prevent himself from screaming and doing something ridiculously stupid. Steve’s sobs grew louder after that comment, which only seemed to make Santino drive into him faster.

Because Danny couldn’t bear to watch what was happening right in front of him, he couldn’t see how the veins were standing out on Steve’s neck, or the way his body was rocked back and forth with each thrust of the grunting man behind him.

So he didn’t know what was happening when the door to their room was slammed open. He thought the loud bang was a trick, conjured up by his brain.

But then there was lots more noise, and at the shout of “Freeze, Five-0!” Danny’s eyes opened with a start.

The sight of his team bursting through the door was one that Danny would remember for a long time.

 _Oh, thank God…_ He rested his forehead against the bars, relief coursing through his body and he couldn’t help but slide to his knees.

Steve’s anguished cry of pain drew Danny’s attention back to their situation, and he looked up to see Santino being harshly dragged off - and therefore _out of_ \- Steve by Chin. He wasted no time in slapping a pair of cuffs on him, not bothering to check if they were too tight, and shoving him in the direction of a waiting HPD officer. Kono made short work of the lock on his cage, and Danny hastily scrambled to Steve's side.

He flinched when Danny’s shaking hands brushed the skin of his back, causing the blonde to quickly pause to give him a moment, before he pulled Steve’s cargo pants up. He’d been through enough; the last thing Steve probably wanted was to have his ass out for the world to see. And if he was honest, the sight of the evidence of his previous assaults dried between Steve’s thighs was making him feel sick.

Fresh tears fell down his face when he removed the sack and gag and Steve’s eyes finally met his. Danny saw the black eye and various cuts and bruises on his face and felt his rage rising, but forced it down as he knelt down on the floor next to Steve’s head.

“I’m sorry, babe,” Danny choked out as he untied the ropes around Steve’s wrists and gently rubbed them after bringing them back in front of him. “I’m so sorry.”

“Danny…” Steve latched onto Danny’s hand. “Please don’t let go.”

Danny swallowed past the lump in his throat as he begrudgingly lowered himself onto the floor next to Steve, his hand still in a death grip. “I won’t, babe, I promise. Hey,” Danny licked his lips as he realised that Chin and Kono was waiting for them, and glancing around he was surprised at the speed in which everyone else had been evacuated out of the room. He hadn’t noticed, but then again all of his attention was on Steve. “We need to go now, buddy. Get you checked out at the hospital.”

Steve stared at him with wide eyes. He opened his mouth but couldn’t get the words to come out. Frustrated, he hid his head in their joined hands, until he felt a gentle pressure on the open side of his face and looked down to see Danny brushing a stray tear away from his cheek.

Danny was grateful for their ability to communicate with just their eyes and facial expressions, and hoped that he wasn’t screwing this up.

_I’m scared, Danno._

_I know. Don’t worry; I’m not going anywhere._

* * *

 

Steve’s legs were wobbly and he stumbled several times as Danny helped him stand before they finally made their way out of the run-down building. Chin and Kono made to help support his weight but Steve shied away from them, choosing instead to cling even tighter to Danny. Steve probably didn’t mean to do it, Danny knew that Steve knew that it was over now and that he was with friends. But after what he’d been through, Danny figured he had every right to be on edge.

And Danny definitely didn’t miss the wince as he lowered Steve into the backseat of Chin’s Mustang before scooting in beside him. Thankfully the ride to the hospital didn’t take long, every bump they went over Steve moaned and clamped his hand down on Danny’s thigh. Danny winced but kept his mouth shut; it hurt like hell but nothing like how Steve must be feeling.

“Do you need me to come in with you guys, or just wait out here?” Chin asked as he watched Danny struggle to get Steve out of the car. Danny cast a glance at Steve, but one look at his downcast face gave him the answer.

“Thanks Chin, but I think we’ll be okay inside.” Danny said, before walking Steve into the emergency room. He’d rung them in the car and warned someone of their arrival, and was grateful for the all clear to go right into a private room.

Danny kept his eyes fixed on Steve as the doctor looked him over on the examination table, confirming that a few of his ribs were indeed cracked and he was very dehydrated. Steve kept his wary gaze fixed on the needle in his arm as he had some blood drawn for tests, and Danny had a nasty feeling that it wasn’t the first needle to go into Steve’s skin over the past few days.

His suspicion was confirmed when the results came back that showed that Steve had indeed been drugged while they’d been held prisoner. Danny saw the cringe on Steve’s face when the doctor made that announcement, and squeezed his hand tightly.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Steve raised his head and gave him a doubtful look. “It _will be._ I promise.”

Steve’s mouth twitched into a faint smile, his grip on Danny’s hand even stronger.

“I’m sorry, Commander… but I need you to lie on your side now so I can examine inside.” The doctor said as he snapped on a pair of latex gloves.

 _Please, Danno..._ Steve looked pleadingly at Danny as he reluctantly did as he was told.

 _I’m not going anywhere, babe._ Danny pulled up a stool and sat by Steve’s head, taking his trembling hand once again.

“Grace got an A in that biology project you helped her with last week, by the way.” Danny said, choosing the one topic that stood any chance of distracting him. “Her teacher loved all those facts about the different species of sharks. Of course, she didn’t tell him that most of them came from you. Her favourite was the-”

Steve focused his sight on Danny and their joined hands, taking comfort in the quiet soothing words Danny was whispering in his ear. Steve let Danny’s talk on Grace drown out what the doctor was doing to his most intimate area. Every time he winced and screwed his face up as the doctor touched a particularly sore spot, Danny would press kisses into his hair and rub a thumb over his knuckles.

“Okay, I’m all done now.” The doctor said as he covered Steve’s lower half with a blanket. “There’s some tearing inside, but nothing life threatening; if you start bleeding more than the spotting now then come straight back here, because I’m sure I’d be wasting my breath if I told you to stay here overnight for observations.”

Steve’s slight nod was the only indication that he was even listening. Danny on the other hand, was paying attention and listened intently to every word the doctor said, taking mental notes on what the doctor was saying about sleeping positions that could help, homely remedies for the bruises, and the warning signs about the bleeding.

Steve didn't even protest when a wheelchair was rolled up to the table, and with Danny's help he gingerly lowered himself into it after gingerly putting his clothes back on. Danny picked up his medication and thanked the doctor before pushing Steve back out of the room and towards where Chin was waiting for them.

“Are you alright, babe?” Danny asked quietly as they approached the Mustang. He felt a pang in his chest at Steve's defeated sigh as he hung his head, hands clutching his pants legs so tight his knuckles were turning white.

Danny nodded, mentally berating himself for asking such a stupid question. “I’m sorry. That was dumb.”

Chin raised his eyebrows when they arrived at his car, but Danny shook his head to avoid any discussion as they got in the car and headed back to Steve's house.


	2. Chapter 2

Steve stared out of the window for the entire ride home and refused to engage in conversation. It made Danny even more worried, that Steve refused to speak save for those few words hours earlier.

Chin carried their stuff into the house while Danny helped Steve up the path, and both men noticed the slight relief in Steve’s face when he finally walked through the front door to his home. He made to draw Steve into a bro-hug but decided against it at the last second after a worried look from Danny. 

“Aloha, Steve. Danny,” Chin whispered as he pulled Danny into a hug. “Seriously, if you need anything, you know where we are. We’re ohana.”

“Thanks, bruh.” Danny patted him on the back as he left, and the sound of the door clicking shut seemed to echo throughout the silent house. 

He turned around and realised that, for the first time that day, he and Steve were alone together. Steve seemed to notice that too after looking around and seeing nobody else but Danny.

“Babe,” Danny approached him slowly, not wanting to suddenly crowd his personal space. “Wanna have something to eat? Sleep? Or shower?”

Danny fully expected Steve to ignore him, like he’s done since they left the hospital.

He did not expect a strange expression to quickly pass over Steve’s face before he burst into tears. 

“Hey hey, come on now!” Danny scrambled to comfort him, giving up on personal space when Steve attached himself to him by wrapping his arms around him.

“Sshh, we’re home now, babe. Home and safe.” He whispered, rocking Steve from side to side.

“Danno,” Steve mumbled. “Just want you.” Danny pulled back enough to gaze at his face.

“I’m here, Steve. Okay? I’m here.” He shifted so their foreheads were touching, Steve’s massive eyelashes brushed against his face as they fluttered open. “I’m here. We can do whatever you want.”

“I want…” Steve shuddered out a breath. “Shower. I wanna shower.”

Danny nodded. With a hesitant smile on his face he helped Steve, whose legs were far less wobbly now he was in his own house, up the stairs and into his bathroom.

“Right, that’s everything out for you, babe.” Danny said as he laid fresh clothes for Steve on his bed and handed him a clean towel. “Do you, uh… want any help in there? Or maybe you want your privacy-”

“Come with me, Danno.” Steve whispered, even though Danny was standing right next to him. Danny wondered if Steve though that, if he said it so quietly, that nobody else would hear him and they didn’t have to know about his weakness. “Please, I can’t…”

“Ssh, of course I’ll come in with you.” Danny reassured him as he quickly shucked his clothes before helping Steve out of his ripped pants and shirt, leaving him in just his boxers.

“What do you want me to do with-”

“Burn them.” Steve finished Danny’s question for him as he stared at his soiled clothes that were in a pile on the bathroom floor. 

Danny nodded in understanding. “Alright. Come on, babe, let’s go.”

Steve squeezed Danny’s hand in thanks, before taking off his boxers and following him into the shower.

Danny winced as Steve’s skin started to turn red from the vigorous scrubbing the brunette was doing, not to mention the hot water that was pounding down on them. It was much hotter than Danny was used to, and any other day he'd fight Steve for the ‘correct temperature’ of the shower. But right now, Steve wanted a scalding shower, so Danny bit his tongue.

He pretended not to notice the way Steve grimaced as he soaped up a washcloth and brought it down between his legs, before bringing it back up between his ass cheeks. But he couldn't ignore the dry flakes of blood that were on the cloth, and even Steve froze when he saw them.

Steve swallowed past the lump in his throat before shaking his head. He held the cloth under the spray and rung the material out, taking some small satisfaction at watching the blood mix with the dirt ( _ and God only knows what else, he thought _ ) and swirl down the drain.

Sensing that Steve had had enough, Danny switched the shower spray off and opened the door. The breeze of fresh air hit both men like a ton of bricks as they stepped onto the cool bathroom tiles and grabbed their towels. 

Danny made quick work of drying himself off and throwing on a pair of Steve's old gym shorts and a t shirt, deliberately avoiding looking at Steve - again, for dignity. The man had been through enough without another person staring at his body, even him.

But when he turned around after hanging the damp towel on the radiator, he realised that Steve was still standing in the same spot, hugging the towel tightly around his body.

“Babe? Steve, what's wrong?” Danny asked, his voice tainted with worry. Steve screwed his face up.

“Everything hurts, Danno,” He admitted through gritted teeth, hanging his head. “Muscles… gone stiff.”

Danny sighed, smiling sadly at Steve as he gently ran his hands down his arms until he could tangle their fingers together. “Hey, it’s okay. Look at me.” Steve raised his eyes to meet his, and Danny felt a sudden pang in his chest at the defeated look in those blue orbs. “Want me to help you?”

Steve nodded, cheeks flushed red with embarrassment, and relinquished his grip on the towel. Danny gently dried his body, being extra careful with his heavily bruised torso. When he got to his groin he looked at Steve again, who nodded, allowing Danny to finish off before he lowered himself to perch on the closed toilet lid.

Getting Steve’s fresh clothes on him was no easy task, his muscles and bruises screamed at him when he raised his arms for Danny to slip a t-shirt over him. Even his legs felt ten times heavier than normal when he got them into a pair of loose-fitting sweat pants. He swayed as he stood up, suddenly depleted of all energy, and would have fallen flat on his face if Danny hadn’t caught him by the elbow.

“Come on, Steve. It’s  _ waayyy _ past your bedtime.” Danny said as he helped Steve limp over to his bed, before watching as the man all-but collapsed onto it. Danny wrestled a not-very-helpful Steve under the covers, but paused as he was about to follow suit.

Did Steve want him to share his bed? Sure, he’d just helped the man shower and put some clothes on, but after what those guys did… 

Being with someone while they slept was a very private affair, and Danny knew that their captors had enjoyed ambushing and assaulting Steve during the night. He was most definitely  _ not _ going to be sleeping well any time soon, but still.

“Danno?” Steve’s quiet voice broke through Danny’s thoughts. “Please…”

_ You idiot, Williams, _ Danny thought, shaking his head as he joined Steve under the covers.  _ Of course he wants you with him for this. He doesn’t want to be alone. _

“I’m sorry, babe,” Danny said as he turned his head to face Steve after turning on the bedside lamp. “I wasn’t sure if, y’know, you wanted some space.”

Steve shook his head. He reached across the gap between them and twisted his hand in Danny’s shirt. “Don’t wanna be alone.” He muttered, before yawning into his pillow.

Danny reached back for his phone that was on the bedside table, and smiled as he scrolled through the dozens of messages from Grace that had piled up over the past few days.

“Whuzzup?” Steve mumbled, even though his eyes were almost closed.

Danny squeezed Steve’s hand that was still on his chest. “Grace has clogged up my inbox. Guess I should ring her now that we’re back in civilisation.” He said, pressing the ‘call’ button and putting the phone up to his ear, not surprised when his daughter answered on the first ring. “Hey, monkey!”

Steve shuffled closed until he could nestle his face in the crook of Danny’s neck, and listened quietly as Danny answered all of Grace’s questions. He took several deep breaths, filling his nose with Danny’s unique smell, which worked wonders on calming his mind.

“Uncle Steve? Yeah, he’s…” Danny glanced down and saw that Steve was gazing up at him with bleary eyes. “He’ll be alright, Grace. Battered and bruised, but I’m gonna stay with him until he’s better.” He said, both men smiling.

“Can you come and see us this weekend?” Danny repeated her question while looking at Steve. He wasn’t sure if Steve would be up to it, but his sleepy nod into his chest answered his question.

“Of course you can, monkey. I’ll speak to your mom tomorrow and sort it out, okay? We need to catch up on sleep. Danno loves you.” Danny said, hanging up and putting his phone back on the table.

“We.” Steve mumbled.

“Huh?” Danny shuffled onto his side, being careful not to jostle Steve too much.

“You said  _ ‘we’ _ .” Steve had a hopeful look on his face, hand still twisted in Danny’s shirt. “So… you’re staying with me? You’re not leaving?”

“Why would I-” The penny dropped for Danny before he could finish his question.  _ Oh, shit… _

Danny placed a gentle hand on Steve’s cheek, being mindful of his bruises and split lip. “Listen to me. I’m not going anywhere, okay? What they did…” Danny paused as Steve looked away, face flushed with shame. When it was clear that Steve wasn’t going to look back Danny continued, “What they did? It doesn’t change how I feel about you. I still love you,  _ so much _ .”

Steve choked out a sob as he all but sank into Danny’s arms, hiding his face in his collarbone as he let out a fresh wave of emotions. Danny pulled the covers over them both and hugged him tightly, whispering soothing words into Steve’s ear as he cried.

“It’s not… I mean… it was so horrible,  _ awful, _ ” Steve whispered, “But, that’s not why I’m...” At Danny’s confused expression, Steve explained. “So… scared.”

Danny reassuringly rubbed circles on his back. “Hey, you know that you can tell me anything, okay?”

“We’ve never got to… sex,” Steve said, and Danny nodded. 

“Yeah…?”

Steve swallowed, his Adam’s apple visibly bobbing in his throat. “I wanted you to be my first time, wanted it so badly, but now…  _ it’s gone. _ ” He admitted.

Danny frowned, before his eyes widen as the full realisation of what Steve was saying hit his brain. “Oh, no…”

“And I thought,” Steve swallowed. He was on a roll now, boldened by his confession. “I thought that once you knew what happened, you might leave. I mean, I know you won’t, you never leave. That’s why I was… so happy when you told Grace that ‘we’ were gonna sleep.”

Danny blinked, not caring that he was crying now. He placed a trail of featherlight kisses behind Steve’s ear, before moving to carry on until he could finally press their lips together. He reluctantly pulled away after only a few seconds, remembering that Steve’s lip was split and it probably hurt to play smash-face with someone.

“No, I’ll never leave you, ‘kay?” Danny said against Steve’s lips. Steve nodded, still clinging to Danny’s shirt, and Danny waited until he opened his eyes again before continuing. “I promise you. No matter how bad things get, I’ll always be here for you.”

Steve shuddered in relief against Danny. “Love you, Danny.”

“Love you too, babe.” Danny pressed another gentle kiss to Steve’s lips. “Now come on, let’s try and sleep.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve realises what the best recovery method is. And it's not what he thought.

Steve rubbed his eyes as he glared at the clock on his phone. It was morning, and normally at this time he’d be getting ready for his daily swim. But not today. Today, he didn’t have any desire to move from his current position.

That spot being under his bed covers, Danny faintly snoring next to him with a hand placed on his chest, directly over his heart. Steve lightly covered the hand with his own as he placed his phone back on the bedside table. His inbox was full of messages from his concerned friends, but he didn’t want to read or reply to any of them. He didn’t know what to say.

Steve sighed as he sunk back into the pillow. He’d barely slept, waking up every couple of hours imagining that he was back in that hellhole being torn apart all over again. His face screwed up in frustration as he told himself that he was home, he was  _ free.  _

Steve knew this. But he didn't believe it.

Movement to the side of him caused him to sharply turn his head and he let out a sigh of relief as he saw Danny moan and rub his eyes.

“Morning, babe.” 

“Hey.” Steve whispered in reply before catching his bottom lip between his teeth.  Danny wrinkled his brow as he raised himself up on one elbow to look at Steve properly, pursing his lips as he chose his next words. 

“Did you sleep okay?” Danny asked.

Steve shook his head. “No. Everything still hurts, didn't want to move much.” 

“Any dreams?”  Steve's pained look as he averted his gaze away and nodded was all the answer Danny needed. His hand rubbed slow circles where it was still on Steve's chest.

“I'm sorry, babe.” He muttered before pressing a kiss to the side of Steve's face that wasn't bruised.  Then he had an idea.  “Hey, have you got any spare pillows and duvets?”

“They're in the wardrobe I think?” Steve answered, puzzled as he watched Danny slide off the bed and rummage through the wardrobe. He came back with his arms full and set about laying the thick duvet (Hawaii was so hot Danny wondered why Steve even had one) on top of the bed sheet. Steve refused to leave the bed, instead lifting his hips so Danny could work around him. 

Danny then placed the spare pillows behind Steve's shoulders, so he was almost propped up.

“How's that?” He said, standing back to admire his handy work. 

“Yeah, Danny,” Steve sank back into his makeshift nest, the relief visible on his face. “Much better, thanks.”

“Good.” Danny said as he made his way to the bathroom.

“Where are you going?” Steve sat up slightly, wincing as it hurt his shoulders.

“Shower, babe. Then I'm gonna make us some breakfast, you coming?” He replied with a smile.  Steve didn't think he could handle any food, no matter how much his stomach was gurgling at him in protest. 

“No, it's alright.” He shook his head before slowly curling onto his side to face the bathroom, offering Danny a small smile. “Just wanna sleep.”

Danny nodded, figuring it was probably the best thing for Steve right now. He crossed the space between him and the bed and knelt by Steve's head. “Okay. I'll be back in a bit, buddy.” 

Steve closed his eyes and nodded, hand coming up to pull Danny's pillow closer to him so he could hug it tight.  Danny stood up and gave Steve one last glance before walking over to the bathroom and shutting the door.

***

After showering and throwing on more of Steve's clothes Danny made his way down to the kitchen. Not long afterward he ascended the stairs, balancing two steaming cups of coffee and a giant plate of slices of toast, with Steve's special extra-full-of-fibre bread. Danny preferred ‘normal’ bread, but his hunger won the battle.

“Hey, babe it's only me.” Danny whispered as he nudged the door open with his elbow. He was pleased to see that Steve was in the same position that he'd left him in an hour previous, still hugging Danny's pillow to his chest. But surprisingly, Danny realised as he slid back under the covers, coffee on the side and the plate of toast in his lap, Steve was blissfully asleep. 

He remained that way for a few hours while Danny played one of the games that Charlie had put on his iPad, until he shifted and rubbed his face against Danny's hip.

“What time is it?” Steve mumbled. Danny set his iPad aside and ran a hand through Steve's hair.

“Just after lunchtime.” Danny replied. “Feel any better now?”

Steve slowly pushed himself into an upright position, wincing as the sitting motion sent a flare of pain up his back from his ass. “A little bit. I think.”

Danny started massaging the aching muscles in Steve's back, being sure not to press too hard on the areas he knew were bruised. “It'll come in time, babe, don't worry. Remember, I'll be here with you.”

Steve turned his face to look at Danny and smiled, the first real smile since they were rescued. “Thanks, Danno.” He then shuffled until his head was nestled in the crook of Danny's neck. “I love you.” He whispered.

Danny slid his arms over Steve's broad shoulders, noting that he didn't flinch at the touch. “Danno loves you too, babe.”

* * *

 

Before Danny knew what was happening Rachel was dropping Grace and Charlie off at Steve's for his weekend visit.

“Where’s Uncle Steve, Danno?” Charlie asked as they stepped into the house.

“He's still in bed, buddy.” Danny said with a hint of sadness. Grace raised her eyebrows.

“What do you mean, ‘still’? Hasn't he come out at all?” She asked.

Danny shook his head, running a hand down his tired face. “Not since we got back four days ago, he only gets out to use the bathroom.”

“He must be really tired.” Charlie said. While Grace knew that her father and Steve had been injured, she didn't know the full extent of Steve's trauma. And Charlie didn't know anything as Danny figured he was too young to know any details of their jobs.

Danny smiled down at his son as he took his little overnight bag from him. “Yeah, I guess he must be, buddy. Come on, let's have some lunch.” Danny quickly diverted the conversation as he ushered his kids into the kitchen, sparing a longing glance up the stairs on the way. 

***

Steve closed his eyes as he heard the conversation downstairs. He longed to join them, to go downstairs and be a part of their family activities. But his brain simply refused to let his body move.

Grace’s laughter at something echoed up the stairs, and his brain turned against him with another ‘what if?’.

_ What if this had happened to her? _

A surge of protectiveness swept through Steve's body and his eyes flew open. He gripped the sheets around him tight.

_ Then I'd find whoever did it and rip their balls off. Unless Danny beats me too it.  _ He thought to himself.  Steve cringed as the thought caused memories of his ordeal to seep into his brain. 

_ Being taken by surprise as he slept in his own cell, a chloroform-covered rag shoved in his face until he fell unconscious. Coming too in a different room with his hands tied behind his back, blearily noticing that he was naked as a man - the leader of the drug cartel they were undercover with, his drug-addled brain reminded him - entered the room with a creepy grin on his face. He realised what was about to happen as he watched Santino unzip his pants as he walked towards him. _

_ Once he was done with him Santino left, and Steve wondered if that was the end of it. He got his answer as two more guys entered the room and came towards him. _

Steve sniffed and rubbed his nose on Danny’s pillow that had quickly become something akin to a safety blanket when the man himself wasn't around. He wished that he could stop these memories, but with nobody around to distract him they kept coming.

_ Once the men had their fun they dragged Steve back to his cell, laughing as he stumbled and tripped onto the floor. He didn't move from that spot as the door to his cell was slammed shut and he was locked in. All he could focus on was pain, so much pain, and the sticky mess between his legs.  _

_ And on his belly, he realised with a sickening look down. His body, the body he'd worked so long to perfect, had betrayed him in his darkest hour. Those men had taunted and teased him for it, for enjoying what they were doing to him. _

A soft knock at the door followed by familiar muffled voices shook Steve out of his thoughts. He hastily wiped his wet face before the door opened.

“Uncle Steve? We brought you some lunch, if you're hungry.” Grace entered the room, closely followed by Charlie. 

He wasn't hungry. Not really. But there was only three people in the world who could get him to eat something, and two of them were looking at him with hopeful expressions.

“Thanks guys,” Steve said as he shifted until he was propped up by the pillows and accepted the tray. “Hey, you made my favourite pancakes!” He was going to fake a ‘thank you’, but the sight of those blueberry pancakes brought a sudden lump of emotion to his throat. 

“Danno said you'd like them, but he said that chocolate is still better.” Charlie giggled, and the breath caught in Steve's throat at the sound. 

“Well then, Danno needs to try these and then he'll see who's right.” Steve winked.

“I would, but it looks like I'd have to make a fresh batch.” 

Steve looked up, he hadn't even noticed Danny standing in the doorway. He glanced down and, oh -  _ when had he eaten all of the pancakes? _

“Guess I was hungry after all.” Steve said quietly, smiling at Danny.

“Uncle Steve? Want to come outside with us?” Grace asked.

“Please, Uncle Steve?” Charlie stared up at him with large eyes. “Your sandcastles are the best!”

“Hey, what about mine?” Danny pretended to be insulted.

Steve briefly closed his eyes and let the sounds of Charlie and Danny discuss the finer aspects of sandcastle making wash over him.  He thought that he was better off hiding up here in the safety of his bed, so that he wouldn't burden anyone else. 

But right now, there was nothing he wanted more than to go outside and prove that his sandcastles were indeed the best. 

“Why don't you guys go and get the stuff from the lanai then? Danno and I will be down in a minute.” Both kids gently hugged Steve before leaving the room. 

“Hey, c’mere.” Steve reached out towards Danny, who smiled as he stepped forward to perch on the side of the bed and pull Steve into his arms. “Thanks, Danny.” He whispered.

“For what, babe?”

Steve pulled away slightly to press a lingering kiss to Danny's lips. “For this. For your kids, pancakes… for everything. It's just what I need.”

Danny cupped the side of Steve's face, the bruises almost faded now. “We’re family. All of us, which means that for this weekend I don't expect you to be alone for longer than five minutes.” Steve chuckled, as Danny helped him ( _ finally! _  he thought) out of the bed.

“Wouldn't have it any other way, babe.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“You doing okay, babe?” Danny asked as they made their way down to the spot on the beach where Grace and Charlie had set up camp. Steve twisted one hand in the thin vest he’d thrown on to cover the worst of his injuries and gazed out towards Danny’s children._
> 
> _“Yeah,” he nodded. “I… I need this.”_

Danny was relieved to finally get Steve out of the clothes and bed that he’d been in for the last four days. Ideally he’d have gotten Steve in the shower before getting him into his swimming trunks, but he didn’t want to push his luck.

He tried not to focus too much on the bruises and marks on Steve’s body, and maybe it was wishful thinking that they were beginning to fade. 

“You doing okay, babe?” Danny asked as they made their way down to the spot on the beach where Grace and Charlie had set up camp. Steve twisted one hand in the thin vest he’d thrown on to cover the worst of his injuries and gazed out towards Danny’s children.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I… I need this.” 

Steve briefly wondered how he was going to lower his still aching body onto the sand, but Charlie excitedly took his hand and dragged him out into the sea with a cry of “Play with me, Uncle Steve!”.

Danny smiled as he sat by Grace and watched Steve play with his youngest in the shallows of the sea. That smile that he loved seeing on Steve’s face was back, if only as a facade for his children.

But he saw the moment that the salt water hit some of Steve’s injuries through his vest, and that smile briefly turned into a grimace. Danny almost went to inspect the damage, but he noticed that before Charlie realised that something was wrong, that smile was back on Steve’s face. Typical Steve, Danny thought, not wanting anyone to worry about him.

Eventually they both returned to shore, Charlie having remembered what he said about Steve's sandcastle making ability. Danny could see that a hint of colour had returned to Steve's face, and placed a gentle hand on his thigh once he'd gingerly lowered himself onto the sand beside him.

“You're looking a little better, babe.” He whispered while Grace was helping Charlie fill up his plastic buckets with sand. The corner of Steve's mouth twitched upwards as he looked at Danny.

“Yeah?” At Danny’s nod of confirmation, Steve's smile grew. “Thanks, Danno… not sure I could get through this without you.”

“Fortunately, you don't have to.” Danny said, and watched as Steve’s whole body seemed to sag in relief.

Everything was quiet for a minute or so. Then, Danny saw how Steve leant towards him, how his eyes were focused on his face. 

Danny slowly slid the hand on Steve’s thigh up to circle round his waist and brought him that little bit closer. Close enough that Danny could softly kiss Steve, his other hand steady on Steve's back.

Steve kissed back, his split lip now gone and the bruises and cuts on his face healed enough that he could keep kissing Danny. Even this simple act was ten times more gentle and loving than anything he'd endured over the last couple of weeks.

“Danno’s kissing Uncle Steve!” Charlie suddenly shouted as he ran towards them, sandcastles clearly forgotten. Steve pulled away and sat back on his haunches, but still lingered close to Danny.

“I love you.” Steve whispered.

“Love you too, baby.” Danny squeezed Steve's hand that was still gripping his shirt.

“Danno?” Charlie asked as he came to where the two men were sitting. “Why were you kissing Uncle Steve?”

“Because they love each other, Charlie.” Grace said as she caught up with her brother, looking down at her father with a knowing gaze that reminded Danny of his own mother. “Isn't that right, Dad?”

Danny fixed his eyes on Steve as he spoke. “With all my heart, Gracie, I do.”

“Does this mean that we can have more morning races, Uncle Steve?”

Steve finally broke his gaze away from Danny to look at Charlie, and couldn't help the smile that broke across his face. “As long as you promise to let the other guys win every now and again.” He said.

Charlie sighed, but agreed, then suddenly launched into Steve. Danny was about to carefully pull his son away as the sudden impact must have hurt his partner, but then Steve wrapped his arms tightly around the little boy and pulled him onto his lap.

“Careful of your brui-”

“Don't care.” Steve interrupted Danny, causing Grace to smirk.

* * *

Charlie was glued to Steve's side for the rest of the weekend, proving Danny right that he wouldn't be alone for more than five minutes. 

After Rachel came and picked her children up after dinner, the house was eerily quiet. Danny turned round after closing the front door and found Steve standing in the middle of the lounge, a faraway look in his eyes telling Danny that his mind was elsewhere. He sighed as he approached Steve, who snapped out of his daze as soon as Danny cupped his face with one hand.

“Sorry, Danny, I was…” Steve mumbled, before shaking his head to clear the remnants of his thoughts away. “It’s only been quiet for five minutes. Guess that was enough for me.”

Danny nodded as he slowly dragged his fingers through the short hair on the back of Steve’s head. “Sshhh,” he whispered, “It’s alright, it’s been a busy weekend.”

“And I loved every second of it.” Steve flashed his teeth as he smiled, latching onto Danny’s t-shirt to keep him close. “I felt… normal. Like it never happened.”

Danny beamed. “That’s great, babe!” 

“But then,” His smile faltered, as did Steve’s voice, “Then it all came back.” 

“Steve, these things take time… It’s not even been two weeks.” Danny reassured him. “But I'm so glad that this weekend helped you.”

Steve’s head came to rest on his shoulder, Danny’s fingers still gently massaging down into his neck. He took several deep breaths, trying hard not to let his emotions get the better of him again. 

“I've stopped… bleeding.” At the lack of a reply from Danny, Steve continued. “Y’know. Down… there.”

“Oh.” Danny bit his lip as he carefully rubbed circles on Steve's back. “How's the pain?”

Steve made a noise in his throat as he thought about it. “Bruises still hurt, but…  _ that's  _ not as bad.” 

Danny nodded in response, and they stood there in each other's arms in silence. Until Danny had an idea. 

“Want me to rub some Deep Heat on you, babe?” Since that shower he hadn't seen Steve without his clothes on. And he totally respected that, enough people had seen ( _ and touched,  _ Danny cringed at the thought) Steve's bare skin that of course the man would want to stay clothed.

Steve was thinking the same thing as he mulled over Danny’s offer. The last person that touched his skin was far from gentle. But that person wasn't here now, and Danny  _ was _ . Steve thought back to that shower when they came home, and how Danny helped him get clean. And how he'd let Steve initiate any contact. 

Finally, Steve nodded his approval, and let Danny lead him up the stairs and to his bedroom where he sunk back into his nest of pillows. Steve watched as Danny went into the bathroom and came back with the tube of ointment, then came back to sit on the bed in front of him.

“Okay?” Danny asked.

Steve cast a glance at Danny, but his comforting gaze put the few remaining doubts in his mind to rest. He gingerly pulled his shirt off but couldn’t bear to look down at his torso, knowing that by now the bruises had gone from purple splodges to much larger yellow and green splodges that seemed to never end.

Danny didn’t mean to stare. Honestly, he didn’t. Fortunately he caught himself before Steve stopped staring down at his shirt crumpled in his lap and noticed. 

“Where, um,” He swallowed past his suddenly dry throat, “Where’s comfy for you, buddy?”

Steve shuffled forward until he was in the middle of the bed, leaving space for Danny to circle around him. “Here’s fine. Can you… can you be quick?” He sniffed, and rubbed his nose with a fist. “I don’t wanna see them.”

“Of course, babe.” Danny uncapped the tube and squeezed some Deep Heat onto his hands, rubbing them together to warm them up.

Steve inwardly flinched as Danny touched his discoloured skin. He expected the pain, but it never came.  _ Their _ hands were rough and unforgiving. Danny’s hands were warm and gentle as he rubbed the gel into his bruises, whispering soothing words every time he touched a particularly sore spot.

The first tear might have fallen as soon as Danny touched him. Steve wasn’t sure how long it had been, but now tears were full on streaming down his face as Danny moved onto massaging his back.

“How are your legs?” Danny asked as he finished Steve’s back and came to sit in front of him. 

Steve shook his head. “No bruises on them.” He whispered, before looking up into Danny’s eyes, his  _ kind _ eyes, and letting out a sigh of relief. “Love you, Danno.”

Danny said nothing, just smiled as he leaned forward and softly kissed Steve’s lips. Steve then watched in amazement as Danny continued his kissing path downwards, until his lips were gently pressing over those yellow and green patches. 

“What are you-” 

“I love you too, Steve.” Danny said as he sat back and took Steve’s hands in his and laced their fingers together. “That means I love all of you.”

Steve all but collapsed into Danny as relief flooded through him. It didn’t even hurt when Danny pulled him onto his lap and hugged him close, and Steve knew that it had nothing to do with the pain relief gel. He was safe in the knowledge that Danny would never hurt him. But he surprised himself with what suddenly decided to bypass his brain-to-mouth filter.

“I want you, Danno. Want you inside me.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Danny made to reach out to him, but one look at Steve told him that that wouldn't be a good idea. The guy was a Navy SEAL, after all, and Danny was pretty sure that he could still kill him while under the influence of whatever the fuck was clearly going on in his head. Danny kicked himself mentally when he saw Steve’s eyes; they were unfocused, as if he didn't really know where he was._

_ “I want you, Danno. Want you inside me.” _

The words seemed to echo in Danny’s head. At first he thought that he misheard Steve; he must have, his head was tucked into his shoulder. But then he mumbled it again. And nope, Danny definitely heard it loud and clear that time.

“Steve…” Danny carefully extracted himself from Steve, making sure not to grip any of his bruises. “Steve, babe, look at me.”

Steve did so, and Danny was startled to see the glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“Everything is still really fresh. I know you may think you’re ready, but I really think we should wait a little while.” Danny said slowly, keeping both hands on his thighs.

Steve hung his head and sucked in a deep breath before looking away, cheeks flushed with embarrassment as his tears restarted.

“I really want this, Danny.” He whispered, hands still twisted in Danny’s shirt. “I need you. Please.”

Danny’s hands moved upwards to clasp at Steve’s. His moral compass was spinning out of control as his mind tried to process what was happening. Danny knew that he should be firm to Steve and remind him that it’s not right, that they should wait until the emotional scars have healed as much as the physical ones had.

But that look in Steve’s eyes; that hopeful, pleading look. Danny couldn’t bring himself to look way from that look. 

“Please, Danno.” Steve leaned forward and pressed kisses along Danny’s neck and up to his jawline. “Want you.”

Danny couldn’t stop the soft moan that escaped from his lips. His body was responding to what Steve was doing, no matter how hard he tried to think of something else. 

“Steve…”

“Please, Danno… make it go away.” 

What was left of Danny’s resolve crumbled at those words.  _ May God forgive me… _ he thought, as he gave in and lowered Steve onto the bed.

“You  _ will _ tell me if it gets too much, okay?” Danny looked Steve in those pleading eyes.

“Yeah.” Steve breathed against Danny’s cheek. 

Danny started off slow. His hands were shaking as they traced a path down Steve’s chest, not lingering too long on the yellow and green bruises. Steve latched his lips onto Danny’s and plundered his mouth as he pulled the man flush on top of him, grunting slightly at the pressure.

Danny pulled away at the noise, but Steve shook his head and drew him back in after yanking his shirt off. Steve relished the feeling of Danny’s furry skin against his own as he laid back against the pillows, disappearing briefly while both men shucked their pants.

“Danny,” Steve sighed as their naked bodies finally pressed against each other, “Feels  _ so _ good, Danny.”

Danny moaned as their hardening cocks touched. The overwhelming feeling of arousal was winning over his morals as he moved against Steve, forearms braced and framing the brunette’s face as he kissed, licked and sucked whatever part of his body was in reach. 

Finally, Steve couldn’t take it anymore. “I’m ready, Danno. Please.” 

“Are you sure? I mean,” Danny lifted his head to gaze at him, pupils blown wide with lust, “ _ Really _ sure that you want this now?” He had to know, had to be sure.

Steve nodded, and took one of Danny’s hands and placed it low on his abdomen. His fingertips brushed against Steve’s semi-erect cock, causing both men to look down at the picture it presented. Danny looked directly into his eyes as he let his hand slide over to wrap around Steve’s cock and slowly let it glide up and down the shaft.

Steve made a noise that sent the blood rushing straight to Danny’s cock and arched his back, pushing himself further into Danny’s grip. He still wasn’t fully hard, but was determined to get there.    
  
After a few torturous minutes Danny decided that it was now or never. Still leaning on one forearm, he reached over Steve and grabbed the lube and a condom from the bedside drawer. Steve’s eyes briefly fixed on the small silver packet as Danny set it on the bed, and was relieved that he never threw them out. He wanted everything to go away, but he wasn’t quite ready for…  _ that _ just yet.

“We don’t have to do this just yet, babe,” Danny said carefully as he knelt in between Steve’s legs, one hand glistening with lube and positioned just above his groin. “We can wait a while, let you-”

“Danny,” Steve reached up to place his hands on Danny’s broad shoulders, needing to touch him, to feel him. “I need to do this. Please.”

Danny nodded silently. He understood - well, as best as he could - but still wished that Steve would reconsider. He only hoped that he didn’t screw this up...

“Okay, baby.” Danny whispered as his hand carefully slid between Steve’s ass cheeks, raising his eyebrow as the man’s breath hitched at the intimate contact. Steve’s hand on his shoulder moved down to grip his arm as Danny rubbed circles around his puckered hole.

Steve grunted when the first slippery finger entered his body, and his grip on Danny’s arm tightened. He bit his lip and fought the urge the pull away from the intrusion, willing his body to adjust when Danny started moving it around. 

Danny bent down to softly possess Steve’s lips as he added a second finger to Steve’s hole, stretching him. Steve whimpered against his lips as the fingers moved, he could feel that his insides were still torn but he said nothing. He wanted to - hell, he  _ needed to _ \- carry on.

But then Steve’s whole body jumped as Danny’s fingers nudged at his prostate. Before all this happened he’d never known what it felt like. He knew that what was happening now was a million ways different than what he’d suffered on the undercover op. He was safe in his home, in his bed with the person he trusts and loves more than anything in the world. But Steve’s brain clearly didn't get that message.

Steve tried to focus on how Danny felt, he really did. But it was too much, and when Danny touched his prostate again it triggered something inside his head.

* * *

 

_ “Man, the boss really opened him up,” Someone chuckled as they relentlessly plowed into Steve, hitting his prostate every time. “He ain’t tight no more!”  _

_ Steve grimaced at the man's words and screwed his eyes shut as his attacker hooked the SEAL’s left leg over his shoulder, a hand on his thigh to keep the limb pressed against him. It was bad enough to have his body violated in the most intimate way, but Steve felt even more dirty as the man ran his other hand over his nipples and down his belly to roughly squeeze his cock. If his own arms weren't tied to the table above his head, he would have shoved the man away. _

_ “Ohhh no way! He fucking likes it, guys!” The man shouted, and Steve was mortified when he looked down and discovered that his cock was indeed pretty much solid.  _

_ “No!” Steve shook his head. He wasn’t stupid, he knew that prostate stimulation can cause arousal whether men want it or not. And right now, Steve definitely did not. “Please, just stop!” _

_ “Shut up, bitch!” Another man said, one of many surrounding the table where he was splayed.  _

_ “Someone give him another cock, that’ll shut him up!” _

_ Steve’s cries of protest were instantly silenced as yet another man stepped forward, yanked him by the hair and shoved his cock into his mouth. He coughed and spluttered at the unwelcome intrusion and bitter taste in his mouth, which only seemed to enrage the other man and he slapped Steve across the face. _

_ He wasn't sure that it could get any worse than this. But clearly it could, as the pounding against his ass increased until suddenly Steve felt that familiar heat pooling in his belly. He was powerless to do anything as his orgasm was taken from him and he came, powerless to stop the jeers and shouts from everyone around him as his come shot up his chest. Steve could only lay there, ashamed and humiliated as he continued to be fucked at both ends, tears streaming down his face. _

* * *

 

“No!” Steve cried as he scrambled away from Danny, feeling his fingers fall limply from his ass. He pushed himself back until he was sitting against the headboard, his chest heaving as he hugged his knees to his chest.

Danny made to reach out to him, but one look at Steve told him that that wouldn't be a good idea. The guy was a Navy SEAL, after all, and Danny was pretty sure that he could still kill him while under the influence of whatever the fuck was clearly going on in his head. Danny kicked himself mentally when he saw Steve’s eyes; they were unfocused, as if he didn't really know where he was.

“Steve?” Danny whispered, making sure to keep his hands in plain sight in case Steve thought he was going to ambush him or something. “Babe, you're safe now. You're home with me.”

Steve sniffed and blinked. He rubbed his eyes and frowned when his hand came away wet, before looking up. 

“D-Danno?” he said, as if he'd just noticed Danny kneeling in front of him. “I'm not… I thought I was…” Steve shook his head as he trailed off.

Slowly, Danny extended his hand. Steve reached out, brushing his fingertips on Danny's palm at first before linking their fingers together in a tight grip as the blond man moved to sit beside Steve.

“You wanna talk about it?” Danny asked quietly, not expecting Steve to answer. But to his surprise, he nodded, and Danny listened as Steve recounted his flashback. His voice wobbled, and by the time he had finished Danny had wrapped his arms right around him.

“I'm sorry, Danno,” Steve mumbled into Danny’s shoulder, “Thought I’d be okay, that I could-”

“Hey hey, none of that.” Danny gently coaxed Steve to look at him, not wanting to force his head up. “None of this is your fault, okay? None of it. We’re gonna fight this, and we’re gonna win, babe.”

“I just wanted the pain to stop, Danno.” Steve choked out. “It hurt so much.” Danny held him and whispered soothing words as he cried, bringing the sheet up to cover them as he suddenly realised that they were still naked. Steve wiped his face on the sheet, and when saw that Danny’s erection had mostly faded his face crumpled.

“Don't even think about it.” Danny said sternly, having spotting what had caught the man’s gaze. “Don't you dare apologise, Steve.”

“But now you-”

“It doesn't matter. What matters to me is  _ you,  _ baby.” Danny brought a hand up to caress the side of his face, his fingers scratching at the back of Steve’s head. “You need to recover, and these things… they take time. We’ll get there.”

Steve looked at Danny, his eyes portraying enough emotion to almost set Steve off crying again. He honestly didn't know if he  _ could _ make it through this. He’d been tortured before, but nothing like this had ever made him feel so hopeless before. 

But Danny was still here. He was still touching his face, still wrapped around him along with the blankets. Steve felt like no amount of scalding hot showers would ever wash away the disgust and humiliation that he felt, that he'd always feel dirty.

He didn't count on Danny, though. Steve could tell that nothing would stop him from making sure that he recovered, and he felt a surge of relief flood through his body when Danny silently handed him the shirt and shorts that he'd removed earlier and helped him get dressed.

“Danno?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“I…” Steve pursed his lips as he mustered up the courage to continue. “I think that I… maybe need to see someone. About, y’know… what happened. And I’m so,  _ so  _ fucking glad that you’re here, Danny, you have no idea.”

Danny smiled and nodded as he reached for Steve’s hands, stopping the slight trembling in them instantly.

“But, you were there too, Danno. You saw me getting…” Steve couldn’t finished that sentence, couldn’t bring himself to say the word. Danny didn’t need him to; the image of Steve being raped in front of him was most likely going to haunt him forever. 

“Yeah.” Danny said quietly. He hated the look on Steve’s face, and could tell that his mind was fighting to keep him in the present day. “I definitely agree.”

Steve still couldn’t look at him, and it made Danny want to go back in time and kill every one of the men who dared to hurt this man -  _ his _ man. But sadly he couldn’t do that, so Danny gently rearranged Steve so that he was practically in his lap and peppered his face with soft kisses.

“Danno loves you so much, baby, okay?” Danny whispered into Steve’s ear as he ran his hands lightly up and down the brunette’s back. Steve nodded into Danny’s collarbone, hands toying with Danny’s shirt. “We’re gonna make it, okay? We will.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Steve had always loved this view. The ocean looked endless as it stretched into the horizon; when he was a kid he believed that if he kept on swimming, he'd end up in the sky where it blended with the sea. But now, as he sat hugging his knees to his chest and feeling the water occasionally brush against his bare feet that were nestled in the sand, Steve couldn't even begin to enjoy it._

It had been a week since what Danny called 'The Incident' and neither he or Steve spoke about it; Steve out of embarrassment and Danny because he didn't want to trigger another flashback, but Danny reminded Steve that he loved him when they woke up and went to bed together every day. Grace and Charlie came back for another weekend with them after much pleading to Rachel and this time Steve needed no encouragement to take them down to the beach. They'd even found a therapist to speak to, both separately and together, about their ordeal and Danny thought that things were slowly going on track, that maybe they could start living  _their_  life. But in true Danny Williams style, it didn't stay that way for long.

Steve was in the shower when Danny's phone rang, and the blonde man smiled as he answered the call from Chin. He figured it was an invitation to watch this weekend's football game round his house with their ohana, but the smile was quickly wiped from his face as Chin spoke, and by the time he'd hung up Danny was slumped on their bed with his head in his hands.

Danny glanced up as Steve padded into the bedroom, his skin flushed after another hot shower, and threw on some old workout clothes. Danny instantly had to look back down as the floor. He did  _not_  want to have this conversation with Steve.

"What's up?" Steve said as he finished towelling off his hair, frowning as he looked down at his partner and didn't get a reply. Alarm bells starting ringing in his head as he noticed the phone behind Danny, and sat on the bed next to him. "Danno?"

"That was, um… that was Chin," Danny said slowly, watching Steve's face for his reaction as he carried on. "About the case against Santino. They're not playing ball, and unless they confess it'll go to trial soon…"

Steve sighed and fidgeted next to him, squeezing Danny's hand when his partner reached for him. "Fuck."

"But also," Danny's voice wavered, and that did nothing for Steve's nerves, "... Fuck babe, I'm sorry."

"What?" Steve didn't like where this was going. "Please, Danny, tell me."

"If it goes to trial, you'll probably have to give evidence." Danny confessed. "Me too. I'm so sorry, Steve."

Steve took his hand back from Danny and stood up, shaking his head as he began to feel the panic rise. "No, I can't. Danny, I can't tell…" He whispered as he scrubbed his face with shaking hands and retreated from Danny, towards the bedroom door. Steve's ribs had almost healed but they still protested as he began to hyperventilate, his whole body trembling.

"Breathe slowly, babe, your ribs-" Danny held a hand out towards him, but Steve shied away from his touch.

" _No!"_ Steve shouted. His hands were balled into fists at his side, and Danny briefly wondered if he was going to hit something. "I can't…" Steve choked back a sob as he stared out of his bedroom window, before suddenly running away from Danny and down the stairs.

Danny knew better than to go after him; as much as it pained him to do so, he knew that Steve needed time on his own to gather his thoughts. He stood by the window and could see Steve heading onto his private beach with his shoulders slumped, and Danny could feel his heart break as he watched the man he loved sink onto the sand. He wished he knew what to do, wished that he could just click his fingers and take Steve's pain away.

And Danny hadn't even told him the worst part, that photographic and video evidence of Steve being raped had been recovered from the gang's cell phones and CCTV cameras in the lockout. The thought made him feel sick to his stomach, but as Danny looked out onto the beach he realised that if he felt like that, how the hell did Steve feel?

* * *

Steve had always loved this view. The ocean looked endless as it stretched into the horizon; when he was a kid he believed that if he kept on swimming, he'd end up in the sky where it blended with the sea. But now, as he sat hugging his knees to his chest and feeling the water occasionally brush against his bare feet that were nestled in the sand, Steve couldn't even begin to enjoy it.

 _That_  week had been most definitely the worst of his life. His body had been violated in the worst way possible, his dignity snatched away from him.

But he  _was_ healing. In the comfort of his own home with the man he loved, his body had mostly recovered from its ordeal, and he was on the long journey to repair the psychological damage done.

Until now.

Steve screwed his eyes up in an attempt to stop a fresh wave of tears from falling, but sadly it was too late. As he cried, Steve tried to imagine himself standing up in court and telling a crowd of strangers what had happened to him.

Deep down, he knew that he'd have to tell people about it eventually - but he had told Danny and his therapist, wasn't that enough? How many more people needed to know his deepest and darkest secret? Steve didn't want to tell anyone in the first place after it first happened… well, apart from Danny. Even if they weren't together, he'd have probably told his best friend.

 _But Danny's different, I trust him with my life._ Steve thought.  _I don't want to tell anyone else… How can I, when I can't even say the word. Not even to myself._

_Nobody wants Santino and those… things… to pay more than I do - apart from Danno, obviously - but I can't, I just can't._

Steve bit his lip almost hard enough to draw blood as, once again, his mind drifted back to that dark place.

The first time it had happened, they'd taken him by surprise in his cell with a chloroform rag and dragged him to another room where Santino forced himself upon him. Steve had been shoved face down on a dirty mattress and his body and mind were initially still floating on the effects of the drug, but that all changed when he felt his ass explode with pain as Santino plowed mercilessly into his virgin hole before handing him over to his goons for their turn on his body.

And they laughed. They fucking  _laughed_ as they took turns on his ass and his mouth - fuck, his throat had stung for days after one particular guy - every time they drugged him and took him to the "fun room" as he heard one guy call it. Steve vividly remembered when he felt something trickle out of his ass after one guy had finished with him, and was mortified when his attacker brought his hand up and smeared a small combination of blood and come (and the worst thing was, Steve didn't even know whose it was at that point) on Steve's abdomen, laughing all the way. He struggled against the handcuffs that held him against a hook at the end of a long table, disgusted and ashamed. But then another man approached him and roughly spread his legs, and as much as he tried Steve was helpless as his body was violated yet again.

And in the midst of it all, amongst the crowd of shouting men standing around the table impatiently waiting until either his mouth or his ass was free, Steve occasionally caught glimpses of what they were holding.  _Cell phones,_  recording his ordeal. He shuddered in spite of the warm Hawaiian sun beaming down on him, wondering who else now knew that he had been " _their little whore"_ , as they once called him.

Steve would have accepted any form of torture over that. His private relationship with Danny had been growing, and he'd longed to give himself entirely to his partner like he'd dreamed of doing way before their first kiss. He'd wanted his first time with Danny to be special; he'd never get another chance at it now, his virginity had been taken in the most brutal way.

 _Danny._  Steve squinted up at the sky as he thought of him. Danny has been his rock ever since they came home, comforting him after he's woken up from many a nightmare shaking and sweating. Not to mention his kids, they didn't know the full extent of his ordeal ( _and would never know,_ Steve told himself), but still Grace and Charlie got him out of bed when nothing else could.

Steve had wanted a relationship with Danny for so long, and now he was in one he was too traumatised to do anything. He thought back to last week, when he thought that jumping Danny was the answer, but that only resulted in a flashback when the blonde man nudged his prostate while prepping him. Steve knew that time was a great healer, but… what if he never recovered? He'd always love Danny and want to be with him, but would Danny feel the same if he couldn't bare to be intimate?

"Useless," he muttered to himself before hanging his head on his folded arms, giving up on holding back the tears.

The soft padding of approaching footsteps from behind signalled his partners arrival and Steve instinctively tensed his shoulders. Danny remained silent as he lowered himself onto the sand next to Steve. Swallowing past the lump in his throat he kept his face hidden; Steve was glad that Danny was here, but he had no idea what to say.

So when he felt a hand slowly massage the back of his head and fingers scratch at the short hair here, Steve couldn't hold back the sob that burst from his throat at the show of affection.

"Sshh, it's okay babe," Danny whispered, "Just let it all out."

Steve sucked in a deep breath as he lifted his head up, taking a look at the endless ocean before slowly turning his head to the right. Danny's hand was still on the back of his neck, and Steve was blinking furiously to try and clear his vision of the man next to him.

"Danno…" Steve breathed, "Please don't make me."

Danny shuffled closer until he could wrap both his arms around his lover, whom he could see was still practically hyperventilating. "I promise you, I won't make you do anything you don't want to. Even if it does go to trial, the evidence is so overwhelming they may not even ask you to speak."

"I can't… can't go." Steve shook his head. "Don't want them to look at me."

Danny instantly understood, nodding as he rubbed gentle circles on Steve's back. He knew that seeing their attackers against would not be a good idea for Steve, and if the trial went ahead he planned on keeping him as far away as possible. Danny half expected him to want to be there, to look them in the eye… but maybe that was wishful thinking, as that would mean that  _his Steve,_  his trained-to-kill Navy SEAL, was still in there. But in a way, Danny was glad that Steve was letting his emotions out; he shuddered to think what would happen if he kept it bottled up and one day the bottle overflowed.

"I don't want them to look at you either, Steve." Danny said, their heads touching as Steve turned more into his side. "They don't have any right to."

Steve sniffed and rubbed at his eyes with the heel of his hand, his chest still heaving as he took each breath. He focused on the feel of Danny's cotton shirt under his cheek, of the hand still on his back and of the steady rise and fall of the blonde's chest in front of him. Steve sat up and properly looked at Danny, and his blonde hair waving in the gentle breeze did something funny to Steve's chest and finally brought a small smile to his face. Danny reached up and cupped the side of Steve's face, thumb stroking along his cheekbone.

"You have nothing to worry about, okay?" He looked directly into Steve's eyes, and hoped that the sparkle in them would come back soon, regardless of this setback. "Like I said, there's so much evidence against them, they've got no hope."

Steve swallowed. "Yeah…" He cringed as he thought about what he was going to divulge, but one look at Danny eased his worries. He had a feeling that this man wasn't going anywhere.

"They filmed me," Steve blurted out, looking down at his toes as he spoke. "In that room, while they were…" His eyes briefly flicked up to look at Danny, who was listening intently and rubbing his back and forearm, and Steve's eyebrows twitched. "Y'know. Cell phones in my face and everywhere. Don't need much more evidence than that."

Danny nodded, his expression solemn as Steve wiped his face and gathered himself. He decided to keep quiet about the CCTV footage; the cell phones mainly focused on Steve but Danny knew that the security cameras caught  _everything,_ a fact that Steve didn't need reminding of.

"Wanna come inside, babe?" Danny asked. "We can do whatever you want. There's a new series of that show you wanted to watch on Netflix, I could get the comforter down from our bed and we could camp out?"

Steve bit his lip as he felt his heart race again, but for an entirely different reason. " _Our bed." Maybe… maybe it'll be okay._

"On the recliner?" He said hopefully. Danny beamed, and after getting to his feet he held out a hand that Steve didn't hesitate to take.

"If that's what you want." The blonde man drew Steve into his arms, noticing the small sigh of relief from the taller man but saying nothing about it. "I love you, babe. I love you so much… I'm gonna take care of you, okay?"

Steve held Danny close, deeply inhaling his unique scent that was quickly becoming his favourite thing ever. "Love you too, Danno… I'm so glad you're here."

* * *

 

Once back in the house, Danny made good on his promise and brought the necessary things from their bedroom downstairs for their Netflix binge. He wasn't sure that they would both fit in the recliner, but Steve was mostly sprawled over him anyway.

Steve got himself comfortable on his human cushion and sighed in contentment when Danny wrapped the comforter around them both. He wasn't cold by any means, but something about it made him feel safe, like nothing and nobody could get to him while he was in his Danny-bedsheet-esque nest. Steve's mind drifted to his earlier thoughts, about how he couldn't bare to be intimate with the man that he loved, and even though right now they were very much in each others personal space Steve still worried that this was the closest they'd ever get. In one corner of his mind, he wouldn't blame Danny if he eventually left him for someone who wasn't so damaged.

Danny could almost hear the cogs in Steve's brain whirring, and shook his head as he tipped the brunette's head up to smile at him. He rubbed his nose against Steve's and relished the blush that crept up his face before claiming his lips in a passionate kiss, hand still on the side of his face. Danny let Steve control the kiss, but still slid his tongue past the other man's once or twice.

Steve broke the kiss after a few minutes but didn't move away from Danny. He had a surprised look on his face, like he couldn't believe what he'd just done.

"I'm not going anywhere, Steve." Danny whispered against Steve's lips, his other hand running up and down his back. "Okay? So please stop worrying."

"Yeah," Steve licked his lips and swallowed. He clutched at Danny's shirt as he finally pushed those doubts out of his mind, and Danny could see the weight being lifted from his shoulders. "You won't, Danno."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Steve knew that’s exactly what he’d be doing if he testified - his words along with the evidence would more than do the job of locking them up - but the thought of standing in front of a room of 90% strangers and admitting what happened to him still made him want to run a mile._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I've neglected this. RL is currently one massive cluster-fuck. This chapter is half of how I want to end it, hopefully I can finish it in the next chapter. Hope this will tide everyone over!

Each day that passed felt like a lifetime for Steve, waiting to hear from his lawyer if the trial would go ahead. He’d wake from a fitful sleep and drag his weary body to the shower - to Danny, Steve walked as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, when it actual fact it was the weight of his ordeal. But to Steve, they were both one and the same.

Then Steve would go straight back to bed. Sometimes he'd eat something if Danny nagged him hard enough, and other times he'd venture downstairs for a few hours. But after a short time Steve became quiet and withdrawn again after Danny’s best efforts to distract him, and he was so quiet that at one point Danny forgot he was even in the house.  

Danny felt powerless to help his best friend through his ordeal. He didn’t know what else he could do to help Steve, when he’d exhausted all avenues he had available. Grace and Charlie were due back tomorrow from their time with Rachel, and their friends was coming round for a grill, and Danny hoped that they could succeed where he felt that he had failed.

* * *

The next day, Steve was sitting on the beach in his trunks staring out at the waves when he faintly heard the lanai door open and three pairs of feet padded across the grass and onto the sand. He smiled up at Grace and Charlie when they arrived next to him, already dressed for a swim, and happily accepted the little boy onto his lap when Charlie instantly clambered onto him. Grace sunk down next to him and Steve smiled when she lifted his arm and settled against his side.

“Missed you guys.” Steve kissed the top of their heads, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Danny lower himself to the beach on his other side and sling an arm around his back. Both men listened as Charlie told them about what they’d been up to during the week at Rachel’s, and Steve felt himself almost start to float away in relief.

Before this week, he felt as if things were slowly getting better, that maybe he’d be okay. But when Danny told him about the trial Steve felt like his world was over, that he’d never get back to how he was no matter what. Until that point, Grace, Charlie and Danny were the only things that even made a dent in his depressive state. They made him feel whole again, but he knew that he couldn’t carry them around with him forever. While Steve wanted to get better for their sake, to not be a burden on his family, he wanted to recover for _himself._ He wanted to go back to work, back to putting criminals like Santino and his gang behind bars. It’s what he did, what he was good at.

Steve knew that’s exactly what he’d be doing if he testified - his words along with the evidence would more than do the job of locking them up - but the thought of standing in front of a room of 90% strangers and admitting what happened to him still made him want to run a mile.

“It’s gonna be okay, babe. You do know that, right?” Danny whispered into his ear as Grace slipped out from under Steve’s arm and stripped down to her bathing suit before heading into the sea, while Charlie was occupied with covering Steve’s bare legs in the sand with his hands.

Steve smiled and nodded before turning his head to look at Danny. “Yeah… I know.” He softly pressed his lips to Danny’s, resting their foreheads together after breaking apart for air and hugging Charlie close to him. “I know it will.”

“Don’t be sad, Uncle Steve!” Charlie turned around in Steve’s arms and smiled up at him. “Danno’s the greatest, he’ll make it better.”

“He really is the greatest, isn’t he?”

Danny blushed at Steve’s reply and rubbed his son’s back. Steve took a deep breath, before letting it out as he got to his feet with Charlie still in his arms.

“Where you goin’?” Danny squinted up at them, feeling his heart turn to mush when Charlie wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck and relaxed against his tanned torso.

“To join your daughter for a swim,” Steve smiled at him. “Coming?”

“Too right I am, I need to cool off before the grill later.” Danny stood and kissed Steve again. “Just need to go and get changed. And babe?” Steve cocked his head to one side. “They’re _our_ kids, babe. We’re a family, us four.”

Steve cupped the side of Danny’s face and beamed back at him, his eyes drifting down to his ass as the blonde man wandered back into the house.

* * *

After a rather intense water fight (which Danny won, regardless of what anyone else says) it was time to get the grill going. The whole team turned up and brought plenty of food which Steve happily started cooking. Everyone else was mingling and talking, Grace and Samantha were busy taking selfies and the occasional photo of everyone else, but Danny only had eyes on one person.

Steve was busy turning the various meats on the grill, occasionally looking up to make conversation when someone asked him a question. Danny looked over when he heard Steve’s voice, and frowned when he saw the other man speaking mostly one word sentences into his cell phone before pocketing it. To Danny, it was like Steve was moving in slow motion, and he left Lou and Chin to make his way over to the decking.

“You okay, babe?” He asked, one hand between Steve’s shoulder blades. The taller man nodded, the motion so quick and subtle that if Danny had blinked, he’d have missed it.

“That was my lawyer,” Steve said quietly, and Danny felt his heart start to rise up in his throat. “He’s heard from Santino’s team.” Steve then suddenly clamped his eyes shut and bowed his head, hands gripping the metal tongs and grill so tight his knuckles were white as he choked back a sob.

 _Fuck…_ Danny quickly pulled the man into his arms, face tucked in his neck so that Steve could muffle his cries. With his hand on Steve’s neck, Danny could feel the man’s jugular pulsing rapidly under his fingertips. “I’m so sorry baby, but don’t worry, I’ll be there with you every day when you say your bit.” Danny whispered, wincing when fingers grabbed his skin through his shirt. “Maybe you can give your evidence via video link? Least then you don’t have to see them…”

Steve shook his head, spreading tears on Danny’s shirt. “No…”

“I get that you wanna show that you’re still standing babe, but remember how you were last week? Please, Steve, don’t put yourself through being in the same room as them.”

Steve let out a harrowing sigh, and Danny braced himself when he unfolded himself and stood tall. Steve looked worryingly pale, and Danny opened his mouth to order him to go inside and rest for a bit, but then Steve uttered three words that briefly made him wonder if something had been slipped into his drink when he wasn’t looking.

_“They pleaded guilty.”_

Danny blinked once, twice, before barking out a cross between a laugh and a sob as he hauled Steve back to him for a strong embrace.

“Guilty, Danno.” Steve said, his voice muffled by Danny’s collar.

“I know baby, I’m so happy for you. It’s all over now.” Danny pressed kisses into his hair, rocking them both gently from side to side. He pulled back to take a closer look at Steve when he felt him stumble against him, and raised an eyebrow when he noticed how suddenly clammy Steve’s skin was under his fingertips. But then his eyes closed, and Danny had just a split second to catch Steve and lower him to the floor.

“Woah, what’s goin’ on?” Chin suddenly appeared by Danny’s side while everyone else gradually begun to realise what was going on.

Danny quickly shucked his overshirt, bunching it up to place under Steve’s head as a makeshift pillow. “I dunno, Steve’s just fainted!”

“You get his chest and I’ll grab his legs, let’s get him inside.” Chin instructed. Danny nodded, and together they managed to carry Steve inside his house and deposit him on the couch.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Welcome back, babe.” Danny placed a hand on Steve’s chest. “Done scaring us?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of the last chapter to tide you all over until I finish part 2, hopefully sometime next week!

When Steve came too he quickly noticed that he was lying on his couch, even though he didn’t remember going inside, but while he could see his feet on the arm of the couch whatever his head was resting on was too soft to be the cushion. His eyelids fluttered fully open and he let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when Danny smiled down at him and Steve realized that the softness under his head was his partner’s thigh.

“Hey.”

“Welcome back, babe.” Danny placed a hand on Steve’s chest. “Done scaring us?”

Steve ran a trembling hand down his face, ignoring the dryness in his mouth. “’m sorry. Didn’t mean to.” He mumbled, turning to nuzzle Danny’s warm stomach.

“Hmm… have you eaten anything today?”  Steve shook his head. “Yesterday?”

“I think I had some toast?” Danny sighed and shook his head as he rubbed circles on Steve’s chest.

“Well, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Please tell me that you’ll eat something now, babe?” Danny pleaded. “Please? It’s all over now, isn’t it?”

Steve swallowed past a lump in his throat as he toyed with Danny’s shirt, before slowly levering himself upright to slump against him. “Yeah it is, Danno.” He let out a deep breath as he closed his eyes and tipped his head back against the couch cushion. “Where is everyone?

“Still outside, you were only passed out for a few minutes. I’m sure they won’t mind clearing off if you-” Steve shook his head, cutting Danny off.

“Nah, don’t be stupid, Danny. I don’t wanna spoil the party.” Steve leant forward and softly kissed Danny, one hand fisted in the blonde’s shirt. When they broke apart Steve hovered close, his breath mingling with his lover’s as he rested their foreheads together. “I love you.”

Danny smiled against him. “I love you too, babe.” He whispered, one hand on Steve’s hip.

* * *

 “Uncle Steve!”

As soon as Steve stepped outside and onto the decking Charlie ran up to him, and he wasted no time in lifting the boy up into his arms. Steve still felt light headed and he probably bent down too quickly for a man who’s not long passed out, but he didn’t care as he held Danny’s son close to his chest.

“Are you alright now, Uncle Steve?” Grace asked as everyone else started to mill around them.

Steve nodded and held out his free arm for her. “Yeah, I’m sorry if I scared you, sweetheart.” He said, hugging her against his free side before turning to look at the rest of his team. “Sorry, guys-”

“Don’t worry, brah. As long as you’re alright?” Chin asked.

“Just need to eat something, haven’t had anything today.” Steve pressed a kiss into Grace’s hair, suddenly unsure about how to break his ‘news’. Danny had moved to stand near them and he saw his lover wink at him, and it worried Steve at how well Danny knew him.

Steve took a deep breath, and then before he knew he was speaking. He kept it brief as Grace and Charlie didn’t – and would _never_ – know why he really passed out in relief, but the message must have got across to everyone because he was suddenly bombarded with hugs, backslaps and cries of congratulations. Danny stepped in and offered to unburden him of Charlie so he would at least have his arms free as he talked with their friends, but Steve simply flashed a toothy grin and shook his head before continuing his conversation with Lou, Charlie nestled in his arms.

Danny stepped back and watched Steve socialize with their friends, feeling an overwhelming sense of pride. They may have been rescued from their captors many weeks ago, but only now did Danny feel like Steve was finally free. Not entirely – he knew that Steve would be haunted by his demons for a while, if not forever – but today was a massive step in the right direction. Danny leant against the doorframe and ran a hand over his damp face when he realized that Charlie had fallen asleep in Steve’s arms, and was about to approach them and offer to take him, but then Steve tenderly pressed a kiss into his blonde hair before continuing his conversation with Lou. Watching him carefully sit down on one of the deck chairs and rearrange his son so that he was settled on his lap did something funny to Danny’s heart, something he hadn’t felt since seeing Rachel cuddle Grace as a baby.

“Why the long face?” Danny snapped his head to the side as he heard Chin’s voice. “Thought this was a celebration?”

“It is,” He clapped Chin on the shoulder with a smile. “Sorry, I was miles away.”

Chin glanced over at Steve. “Steve seems much happier already.” Danny’s smile grew as he looked back at his best friend; because while he was his boyfriend and after everything they’d been through, he was still his BFF (even if he hated that word). “How’s he doing, after… y’know?” Chin trailed off, knowing would Danny would follow.

“As well as can be expected, I guess… He’s still seeing his therapist, and of course today will do wonders,” Danny took a long sip of his beer. “But it won’t ever go away. Steve… he’s…” He shook his head.

“I know, Danny.” Chin said. “I still think about when we stormed the place and I saw Steve being raped.”

Danny’s breath caught in his throat when he saw Steve’s gaze flash in their direction for a split second before he went back to talking to Lou, his smile not quite as radiant as before and Danny could see that his posture wasn’t as relaxed as before.

“He can’t bear that word. Won’t even say it, and I don’t blame him.” Danny solemnly explained to Chin, picking at the label on the beer bottle.

“After what happened to him I’m not surprised.” Chin muttered. “But he’s got all of us on his side. And he’s got you and the kids, there’s no better therapy than family.”

Danny nodded in agreement and carried on talking to Chin, his mind constantly drifting towards Steve.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Danny brought a hand up to turn Steve’s face in his direction, stroking the faint crinkles by his eyes with his thumb before he balanced on his tiptoes to softly kiss each cheek. “Let’s go to bed, yeah?” he whispered._
> 
>  
> 
> _Steve blushed a fierce shade of red and let out a deep breath as he let Danny lead him away, making sure to close the door quietly on the way out._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter, and the start of the new beginning for Steve.

Once the party was over and Danny had collected the last of the empty beer bottles, he paused as he realized that Steve was standing on the beach staring out at the waves, Charlie still in his embrace. Danny smiled sadly, and threw the bag in the trash before making his way down the beach.

“Hey,” he said, announcing his arrival before coming to stand next to Steve. “I've cleared everything away and Grace is her room, no doubt racking up my Family Data allowance bill again. You gonna come in?”

Steve nodded before glancing down at Charlie, a soft smile gracing his face as the little arms around his neck twitched in his sleep. “I love him, Danny.”

“I know, babe. He loves you too.”

“I hope I'm not too much of a screw up for them.” Steve sniffed and shook his head. “Can't even cope with hearing the word… how am I gonna be able to do my job?”

Danny placed a hand on Steve's back and begun to rub at the tense muscles. “My kids adore you, babe – Grace has called dibs on Mary’s old room and I’m sure Charlie’s got his eyes on yours. What you've been through? You're allowed to be screwed up, I'd be worried if you weren't and were all Super SEAL and in denial. Don't give me that look, you know you do it.” He raised an eyebrow at Steve's expression until the taller man caved and nodded. “As for the job… if you think you're going back to work anytime soon you've got another thing coming. Until your therapist clears you, you're stuck here with me.”

Steve finally turned to look at Danny, the hand on his back moving down until it was massaging a spot just above his ass. “I think I could live with that. Maybe use up our holiday time and take the kids somewhere - Maui?”

“That'd be awesome, babe.” Danny beamed. “But maybe do something just the two of us as well, once we're… y'know, doing ‘stuff’.” He ignored the faint blush creeping up his neck.

“I'd really like that, Danno.” Steve whispered, the feeling of now both of his lovers hands on his lower back spreading up his spine and almost anchoring him to the ground. He dipped his head and pressed his lips against Danny's, running his tongue lightly against the other man's before pulling away. “C'mon, let's go.”

Danny kept one hand on Steve’s back as they walked back to the house and up the stairs. Charlie woke and sleepily managed to pull his pyjamas on before crawling under the covers of Steve’s old twin bed, but not before a goodnight kiss from Danny and a fistbump from Steve. Danny chanced a look at Steve and could tell that much like himself, the man was besotted with his children. When he ever got new partners he always worried about introducing them to Grace, and eventually to Charlie. In his heart, Danny wouldn’t have introduced Grace to Melissa if his daughter hadn’t have come home early. He still wasn’t sure about their relationship, but thankfully he spent the better part of the day trapped under a building with Steve, which helped make up his mind about many things.

But with Steve it was different. Danny had no fears about him and his kids, probably enforced by the knowledge that he’d never break up with Steve, even if recent events hadn’t happened. He had a sneaking suspicion that Steve would use his SEAL abilities and track him down if he even considered leaving Hawaii, and that only made Danny love him more.

Danny brought a hand up to turn Steve’s face in his direction, stroking the faint crinkles by his eyes with his thumb before he balanced on his tiptoes to softly kiss each cheek. “Let’s go to bed, yeah?” he whispered.

Steve blushed a fierce shade of red and let out a deep breath as he let Danny lead him away, making sure to close the door quietly on the way out.

* * *

As soon as Danny closed their bedroom door behind them Steve tugged him over until they were standing by the bed, still unmade from this morning. His nerves made him fumble with the button on Danny’s pants but eventually they were off, followed by his shirt. All the while, Danny was running his hands under Steve’s shirt as he sucked on the man’s bottom lip.

“Danny,” Steve gasped as the man brushed over a nipple before quickly stripping him of his shirt. He lowered himself to sit on the edge of the bed, pulling Danny with him so that he was stood between his legs. Steve nuzzled the warm, furry stomach in front of him, dropping kisses on random patches of skin while his hands toyed with the waistband of Danny's boxers.

Danny's hands went to run through his lovers hair and guide him down to where he longed to have Steve's mouth, but his brain reminded him that it may not be appropriate and he pulled his hands away just in time.

So he wasn't at all prepared for Steve to kiss a path down to his crotch, mouthing at the outline of his cock and the damp patch in his boxers.

“Fuck, Steve,” Danny whispered, hands on the man's bare shoulders. He couldn't look away, and bit his lip when Steve's eyelids fluttered open to look up at him as he slowly pulled his boxers down, sighing in relief when his cock sprung free.

Steve couldn't help the slight flinch when Danny's cock accidentally knocked his face as it was released from his boxers. He swallowed and couldn't help but stare at it. As similar as the situations were, Steve knew that this was nothing like the last time someone else's cock was all up in his face. He _wanted_ this, he even _started_ it. But still...

“Babe, you don’t have to do anything you don't want to, okay?” Danny's voice cut through his trance, and Steve blinked as he wondered just how long he'd been staring. One of Danny's hands was kneading at the tense muscles in his back, and he was grateful for the distraction. “I love you, Steve. Whatever we do.”

Steve rested his forehead against Danny's hip and kissed the sensitive skin. “I want to, Danno.” He said quietly, noticing that his warm breath caused Danny's cock to twitch. Licking his lips he smiled softly up at Danny, hoping to convey through his expression what he couldn't bring himself to say.

_You're nothing like them._

Danny felt tears prick at his eyes when Steve slowly kissed a path down, his lips feeling like fire as they trailed along his shaft until he reached the head. Steve tentatively licked at the glans, one hand holding the base of Danny's cock. He experimented with licking and sucking until he felt brave enough to let the crown slip past his lips and into his mouth, Danny whimpering at the sight and sensations.

Steve kept his eyes open as he swirled his tongue around the portion of Danny's cock that was in his mouth, wanting to keep his eyes on his lover. He set his own pace, comforted by the feeling of being in control of how far he could go. Steve willed himself not to let his emotions get the better of him, wanting to prove to himself that he _could do this, damnit!_ , that his attackers haven’t beaten him. He had to pull away when he couldn’t let any more of Danny’s cock into his mouth, his gag reflex working on the memory of the last time he’d done this and instinctively warning Steve to stop.

Danny sucked in a deep breath as he took one look at his lover’s face and saw a slight hint of doubt, and wasted no time in pulling him to his feet and crashing their lips together. Steve clung to Danny’s biceps and let him take control of the kiss, as well as allowing Danny to gently lower him back onto the bed and guide him to relax, his head ending up near the pillows.

“So beautiful, babe,” Danny whispered against Steve’s lips from where he was hovering over him. His hands brushed against the front of Steve’s shorts and grinned when he could feel the outline of his cock. “Can I…?”

“Yeah. Yeah, Danno.” Steve nodded, and lifted his hips so Danny could unzip and slide his shorts and boxers off in one fluid movement before flinging them to one side of the room. Steve smirked at his lover’s actions and reached out for him, and the next thing he knew Danny’s body was fully covering his own and the man’s tongue was in his mouth. He spread his legs to make room for Danny to settle between them, their legs entwined, and moaned loudly when their hard cocks were pressed together.

Danny repeated Steve’s earlier actions and pressed sloppy kisses down the man’s heaving chest until he reached his dick, leaning up to wink at Steve before ducking his head down and licking a long stripe up from the base to the tip. Steve cried out as Danny sucked the head of his cock into his mouth first before taking more, his hands grasping the bed sheets as he bent his legs and dug his heels into the mattress. He refrained from bucking up into Danny’s mouth even though his body cried out for friction; he’d been on the receiving end too many times at the hands of Santino and his buddies, and maybe in the future he’d be stronger but right now he didn’t want Danny to feel what he felt.

Steve tugged on Danny’s shoulders and the blonde happily obliged and left a trail of kisses up his torso until he reached Steve’s waiting mouth. Danny undulated his hips and swallowed Steve’s moans when their cocks slid against each other, until he broke away from the kiss to choke back a sob in the crook of Danny’s neck.

“Oh God, Danno… feels so good!” Steve bucked up against Danny, the friction of their bodies feeling delicious on his leaking cock.

“I’m glad, babe,” Danny continued his teasing actions, his forearms acting as a makeshift pillow for Steve’s head. “How, uh… how far do you wanna go?”

Steve pulled back to gaze into Danny’s eyes, but not before nuzzling his lightly stubbled cheek and nipping at his bottom lip. “Hadn’t really… hadn’t really thought about it.” He admitted, shifting underneath Danny and moaning when his movements caused his cock to rub even more against their sweaty abdomens.

As Danny scattered featherlight kisses over every inch of his skin within reach, Steve thought about what they’d done after stumbling into their bedroom earlier. Maybe he’d felt empowered from hearing about the trial, or maybe because it was Danny, but he still couldn’t believe that he’d done those things. Steve couldn’t help but think about what happened the last time they’d tried to have sex, and how Danny prepping him had triggered a flashback that killed the mood completely and left him a crying wreck. But he’d rushed into it back then without thinking, just wanting to feel ‘normal’ again. Now he felt more relaxed; laying underneath Danny, Steve felt like every nerve ending in his body was on fire as his lover kissed and caressed his body.

“I want… I want,” Steve licked his lips and flexed his large hands on Danny’s back before sliding a leg against his. “You, Danno. I want all of you.” He huffed a sigh of relief when Danny smiled against his cheek before claiming his lips in a passionate kiss.

“You’ve always got me, baby.” Danny whispered as he continued to rock and grind against Steve. “Are you alright like this? You could ride me if you want, be in control, or you could do me-”

Steve shut him up with another kiss as he spread his legs even more. He planted his feet on the bed before reaching back to grab a pillow, raising his hips high enough to shove it underneath. “Stuff is still in the draw, Danno.” Steve ran his hands down Danny’s sides as he smiled up at him, and Danny shuddered at the amount of trust placed in him before swooping down for another kiss.

“You’re amazing,” Danny said quietly after reaching across to grab the lube a condom, setting the items on the mattress beside them so his hands were free to run up and down Steve’s legs as he knelt in between them. “Y’know that, babe? So fucking amazing.”

Steve bit his bottom lip as he smiled shyly and nodded, his eyes fixed on Danny’s as he lazily stroked himself. Danny flipped the cap off the bottle of lube and drizzled some onto Steve’s cock before spreading it down to his balls and back up again, squeezing the other man’s fingers whenever he brushed past them. He then squeezed a great dollop of lube onto his fingers and begun gently massaging the sensitive skin behind Steve’s balls, working his way until he was circling his entrance.

Noticing the slight shiver than ran through Steve when his fingers brushed over his hole, Danny rearranged himself until he was laying on his front, and licked a long stripe up Steve’s cock before taking the head into his mouth at the same time that he slowly slipped a finger inside. Steve whined and tucked his chin to his chest so he could look down at Danny, feeling warmth spread inside him at the fact that they didn’t have to exchange words for Danny to know to distract him while he prepped him.

Steve couldn’t believe how different this was compared to their last time, and it wasn’t just because Danny was using a blowjob to distract him from the feeling of something in his ass. While before he needed the pain to go away and thought that sex with Danny would achieve that, now he really _wanted_ to have Danny inside him. And it’s not that he didn’t before, because of course he did, but now he wants it - like, _really fucking wants it_ \- and he wants Danny and everything that comes with him. And Steve knows now that sex isn’t a magical cure for what happened to him, and he’ll still have bad days, but he won’t let his experience tarnish the most important relationship of his life.

“Fuck, Danny,” Steve moaned when he felt another finger slide into his ass as Danny continued to run his tongue around the head of his cock. He sucked in a deep breath as Danny nudged at his prostate and clenched his fingers in the bedsheets. Danny instantly craned his head to look up, Steve’s cock falling from his lips, but smirked when he saw the blissed out look on the other man’s face.

“You feel ready, babe?” Danny asked after pumping and twisting his fingers inside thoroughly, being sure to hit that sweet spot to keep Steve’s pleasure up.

“Yeah, ‘m ready.” Steve shifted on the bed until he was comfortable and pulled Danny against him in a bruising kiss. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Danny nuzzled his face as he ripped open the silver foil, rolled the condom on with shaking hands and coated his cock in lube before lining himself up. Steve nodded once more, and that was enough reassurance for Danny to press forward.

Steve felt like he was melting as he felt himself slowly being entered, Danny sinking in inch by inch until suddenly he felt his balls bump against the underside of his ass as he bottomed out. Both men couldn't tear their eyes away from each other as they got used to the sensation of being so connected.

“We did it,” Danny mumbled against Steve lips as he settled carefully on top of him. “ _You_ did it, baby.”

Steve snaked a hand down between them and let out a shaky chuckle when his fingertips skimmed over where Danny’s cock was buried in his ass. “Feel so full!” At Danny’s concerned look, he shook his head and added, “‘t’s good, Danno.”

Danny framed his lover’s head with his forearms and tested the waters by thrusting forward slowly. Steve’s head fell back onto the pillow and bit back a cry, and even grabbed ahold of Danny to try and pull him even closer. Danny grinned against the brunette’s lips and took that as a sign to continue, and quickly both men settled into a rhythm after Steve hooked his legs around his hips.

It felt like a furnace in their bedroom, their sweaty bodies sliding against each other as Danny made love to Steve. Eventually Danny felt brave enough to pull away from him until he was kneeling between his legs, his hands rubbing and caressing Steve’s heaving chest, and starting thrusting into Steve more frequently and with a bit more force. His gamble paid off and Danny was rewarded by the biggest grin ever on Steve’s face when one of his hands trailed down towards his cock and started stroking in time with his thrusts.

Steve’s eyes rolled back into his skull when Danny circled his thumb on the head of his cock. He reached down and linked their fingers together to wrap around his shaft, and the feeling of both of them working on Steve’s cock was enough for pre-cum to ooze out of the tip. “Oh, shit,” Steve grasped at Danny’s hand that had moved down to his hip and wrapped his fingers around his wrist. “Don’t stop, Danny!”

Danny frantically shook his head, ignoring the stray bangs of hair that fell in his face as he kept up his motions. Steve screwed his eyes shut as he felt that familiar heat begin to pool low in his belly and could feel beads of sweat break out on his forehead. He sped up his strokes on his cock and Danny quickly got with the program, angling his thrusts and speeding up even more. Steve cried out when his prostate came under constant attack and dug his heels into the mattress as the heat inside him got more intense, even to the point where he could feel tears threatening to escape.

“It's alright, babe.” Danny panted as he slowed down so he could catch his breath. He grunted as he lowered his upper half down so he could lazily kiss Steve, his dick still buried inside him, and despite their body heat Danny still got goosebumps when Steve wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

“‘m gonna come!” Steve whimpered when Danny reached between them and grabbed his leaking cock, his other hand cupping the side of his face. Their faces were barely an inch apart from each other and were practically breathing the same air, and Danny bumped his nose against Steve’s as he continued to rock into him. He thumbed away the wetness at his lover’s eyes which only produced more, and Danny pressed their lips together as he wiped his face again.

Steve suddenly felt his balls tighten, and then all he saw was stars and felt the blood rush in his ears as he came hard and fast, with hot white ropes shooting up both of their chests. Danny didn’t realise that he was that close, all his attention on Steve’s pleasure alone, but Steve clenching around him as he came pulled his orgasm out of him as he drove up deep and held his position. Danny swallowed Steve’s moan and stroked him through his orgasm until Steve pulled away to gaze into his eyes, and both men couldn’t help but grin at what had just happened.

“So beautiful, Steve,” Danny’s chest heaved as he still continued to gyrate his hips into Steve. “So sexy.”

Steve chuckled, his smile so big Danny thought his face would split, and brought Danny back against him for a slow kiss. “You close, Danno?” he mumbled against his lips.

Danny shook his head. At Steve’s confused look, Danny shifted on top of him. “Already came, babe. You… yeah. Sucked the life out of me.”

Steve blushed, but his gaze never left him. Even as Danny gingerly pulled out and threw the condom in the trash can by the bed before sitting on the edge of the bed next to him, Steve looked at him as if he’d just given him the moon.

“You alright? Did I hurt you?” Danny cast an eye over Steve, who merely shook his head.

“Felt so much better… so _right_.” Steve sniffed as he toyed with some of the coarse hairs on Danny’s thigh. “Will feel better when I, uh… get cleaned up.” he glanced down at his sticky chest. In a split second Danny shot into the bathroom before coming back a few seconds later with clean clothes and a damp washcloth and set about gently cleaning and caressing his chest, not forgetting to dip down in between his legs. Steve was happy to lay there and let Danny take care of him, and shook his head with a smile as he lifted his hips so Danny could pull a clean pair of pyjama pants up.

Once both men had settled under the covers Steve wasted no time in plastering himself to Danny’s side and entangling their legs. Danny wrapped his arms around his lover and could already feel himself start to sink into sleep, but then he heard familiar cries coming from down the hall.

“Shit,” Danny mumbled as he scrubbed his face, “Not the perfect ending I had in mind. Sorry, babe.”

Steve shifted off of Danny so he could climb out of bed and watched as he pulled a shirt and pants on, smiling when he came to sit back on the bed. “I dunno, Danno. Pretty perfect to me.” he said with that sunny smile that instantly made Danny melt. “I’ll change the sheets. Bring him back in here.”

“You sure?” Steve nodded, and Danny bent down and claimed his lips in a passionate kiss. He loved his children more than anything, but right now all he wanted to do was crawl back into bed with his man and enjoy the post-coital bliss. Danny smiled and shook his head; there’d be other times, and that was the best part of it all. “I’ll be right back, okay? Love you so much, Steve.”

“Love you too, Danno.” Steve yawned and actually _purred_ when Danny scratched the back of his head before getting up and padding out of their room. He forced himself to sit up and swing his legs over the edge of the bed and couldn’t help the huge grin that spread over his face.

He’d been in many intense situations during his career, and this had been the biggest battle of them all, but Steve felt like he was walking on air as he stripped their bed and applied fresh sheets before crawling under the covers. Danny soon appeared next to him and laid Charlie between them, and Steve smiled as they drifted towards each other and shared a kiss over the little boy’s head.

This may have been the toughest fight he’s ever had to face, but Steve had won. And won big.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eagerly await comments and kudos, let me know what you guys think! Been a rollercoaster of a journey with this fic, and I've both loved and hated myself for writing it and hurting my baby.


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